Am I still alive?

I am not going to lie, today was rough!! With Keagan not going to bed till 11 pm the night before, waking up at 6:30 and refusing to take a nap, I almost pulled my hair out. He is mastering the terrible twos, he got an A+ for the day.

I am sitting here in bed my jaw is clenched shut and Keagan is banging his car on his floor..... What to do what to do?! I could let him continue, I could go in and get mad, or I can go in calmly. I am going to take 3 deep breaths before I open his door..... Success, I was super calm. As I stood by his door taking my deep breaths, he knew I was there so he started to bang louder, but as soon as I walked in he stopped. I sang him another song, and said another prayer, and told him if he continues I will have to take it away. It is silent now.... Sweet silence.

Sometimes I feel like I am raising a teenager that just talks back. I often wonder where my sweet baby boy went at times. He can go from melting your heart with his amazing kisses and hugs, to a typical terrible two year old.

Today was hands down the hardest day yet. I tried to change activities to help him be busy, I even painted his toe nails, because he was begging with those sweet baby blues. But in the end, my house looks like it was hit by a tornado and my jaw is tighter than ever. (For those of you that don't know, I have TMJ, and the past few weeks it has flared up and is causing me lots of pain, and I can't find my splint for it!)

When Chuck got home from work, I had had enough. I handed over the kids and turned the shower on high and got in. I let the water run till it was cold. It was amazing. I needed that. I know I am stressed, and I know I am letting Satan get to me. I have said probably 15 prayers today, but it doesn't seem to help. Maybe I am not letting them, who knows. All I know I am trying my hardest and will continue to do so. I knew there was going to be awful days and wonderful days. Yesterday was wonderful, and today happened to be one of the awful ones. Lets pray that tomorrow will be wonderful!!

Here's to day 5!!! **raises my glass of water**

Trains

Today went without a hitch.

I was focused on playing and interacting more with my kids.

I don't really have a hard time getting on the ground and playing around with them. But today was extra special. I ordered Keagan a Thomas the Train set awhile back and it came today. I was originally going to wait to give it to him for his birthday. But any good Mom wouldn't wait... Right?? To see the pure joy on his face was totally worth it.


I also have been letting him help make his own breakfast, lunch and dinner. Before I would have never really thought twice about it but he loves helping out. I think it is helping him to enjoy his food a little bit more when he is able to help prepare it.

Also on a good note, he only had one time out today, and it wasn't for hitting. It was because he didn't listen to me. So that is a plus! We haven't gone a day with out hitting for a long time, so I really enjoyed that. He still is pretending to hit and will swing his arms, but he hasn't gone in for the kill.

I can't believe tomorrow is already day 4!

Success!

Today went wonderful! It would have been perfect if Bryton could learn to sleep through the night... But that will come in time.

Keagan has been awesome and sleeping in a little bit later. I can't tell you how nice that is!! It makes everyone in the house just a little bit more happy.

Today my mission was to go out.

I don't really have a hard time with this one, so today was pretty easy. I thought I would be nice to myself and do something that we are all used to. Every Tuesday we meet up with a good friend at The Children's Museum. She has a little boy just months younger than Keagan and they get along great! She also has a little girl a month younger than Bryton. It is perfect.

When we got home, Keagan fought me a little bit to take a nap, but he was so tired that it didn't last long. When he is tired and I am tired, it takes a lot to not get mad and annoyed with him not wanting to go to bed. But I have been good with using my calm and collect voice when talking to him. Sometimes it is really hard, but sometimes it comes with ease.

He is still hitting and throwing things at Bryton, and it drives me up the wall. But I am really hoping in time that will subside. So if anyone has any tips on how to help with that situation I would love to hear them.

Also how do you keep a 2 year old in time out? When he needs a time out he wont stay, I don't know what to do. I have tried and tried to talk to him about it and he just doesn't get it. Times when he does this it is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I really have a hard time with it.

Lets hope day 3 goes as well as day 2!

**Sigh**

So of course today had to be super stressful. Keagan didn't nap on Saturday and then yesterday he had a nap but we had to wake him up, so today full of joy.... Not! Keagan decided that he didn't want to nap again today, he fought back and forth with me putting him to bed. I was good though, I didn't get angry. I used my calm and collective voice as much as I could. I did end up in time out once. But hey, you do what you need to get through the day.

The days that Keagan doesn't have a nap, he seems to be super clumsy. After telling him 23094 times to stop climbing in and out of Bryton's crib because he was going to fall out, you guessed it he feel out and hit his back on the radiator. And after that everything just went down hill.

Days like today I stare at the clock wishing I had magic powers to fast forward time. It isn't even 8 and the kids are in the bath, and I am ready to call it a day. I just want to climb in bed with my wonderful husband and snuggle. Don't get me wrong I absolutely LOVE my kids to death! But after days like today; where I don't get a shower, didn't get a chance to clean, and there are piles and piles of laundry waiting for me, I wish I could go back to the simple life.

I hope day 2 goes better.

Today is THE day!!!

The sun is shining, my house is a mess, and I am going to start my 30 day challenge!

Today my goal is to not yell.

There are times when Keagan gets in trouble and I am so mad because he has hit Bryton for the 20938492308 time and I can't help but yell at him. I always always regret it afterword. So from this day forward I am not going to yell at my kids. I am sure there will be slip ups and what not. But I am sure going to try my hardest!

I will update you on how today goes later tonight. Lets keep our fingers crossed that I don't end up in time out!

Tomrrow, tomorrow, I love ya! Tomorrow!!!!

It is the big day tomorrow!!! I am kind of nervous. What did I get my self into? Am I really going to be able to stick with it? Will I come out ahead? Will I cry my self to sleep? Oh so many questions.... I can't believe I start tomorrow! EECK!!!

115 Views!!!

I have had 115 views in 4 days!!! But where are all the ideas? I have a pretty good idea and list coming a long, but I can always use more ideas!!! So please don't be shy. I would love peoples comments. So please let me know you are reading! Thanks a million!

I am pretty sure

This is going to be a really good thing for me! there are already times, where I stop my self and think, "is this going to make me a better mom?" I am really glad that I thought of this and can't wait to see how I feel at the end. I however don't think I will stop blogging at the end of 30 days, because after all there is always room for improvement.

So please don't be afraid to tell your friends and spread the word about this blog, because I would like all the feedback and help that I can get!

Ideas

Please leave me some comments about how you are a better Mom. :) Before I begin, I need all the ideas I can get. I have 6 days to get all my ideas together and have a plan! So I need all the help that I can get.

Erica

Hello all

I am starting this blog for my

30 Days To A Better Mom

I chose to do this to try to keep my sanity. I feel lately I have zero patience. I don't know where it is terrible two's that Keagan is mastering, or if it is because I am so sick of this weather and just to get out.

I hope you guys can help through this, because I know there is going to be lots of tears and frustration.

I will update more soon!

Erica